ICONOCLAST, n. A breaker of idols, the worshipers whereof are imperfectly gratified by the performance, and most strenuously protest that he unbuildeth but doth not reedify, that he pulleth down but pileth not up. For the poor things would have other idols in place of those he thwacketh upon the mazzard and dispelleth. But the iconoclast saith: "Ye shall have none at all, for ye need them not; and if the rebuilder fooleth round hereabout, behold I will depress the head of him and sit thereon till he squawk it."
-- Ambrose Bierce

Monday, November 28, 2011

PMS and the Laxative of Choice

No longer merely a "woman's curse", a steady course of PMS (Post-Structural Materialist Syndrome) indiscriminantly inflicts hemorrhoids on all: few would deny that excessive piles are caused by the imposition of too much digging, inadequate nutrition and setting your fat ass too long on a wet saddle.

A bad stretch of pun, admittedly. Less of a stretch is the entanglement of politics and economics or government and commerce or war and kleptomania. First off, they are not entangled at all, and radicals – those who look at the roots of things, even under insults and tomatos tossed by those content with given, superficial images or fairy stories – understand this. The metaphor currently in vogue is rhyzome. More appropriate would be a single tap-root. Synonymy. Here is the logic: "Winners" is just a variant spelling of "owners". Still not convinced? How 'bout this: the commander-in-chief, setting atop the executive branch of office, is in appearance indistinguishable from the chief executive officer delivering blow-jobs (a lot of hot air) to corporate cronies and a pain in the ass to everyone else.

Picture, if you will, the warted, village thug standing, behind mean men with pointed sticks, on a soap box in front of the barley-house, and tell me government and banking ever represent different interests than bloody hemorrhoid relief for fat cats. The choice between a political and an economic remedy is no choice at all! The pitchfork was expressly designed for shovelling shit. If it gets too deep and gooey, put on your waders and head for high ground, as the pig pen is about to flush.

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